About Us and Mission Statement

Peesurance.com (Peesurance Co. LLC) and its affiliates are dedicated to the preservation of personal information and privacy. We do not advocate the abuse of ANY substance - legal or illegal, chemical or organic, plant derived or the result of human excretion. Substance abuse has caused the destruction of more families than basic cable and the Democratic National Convention combined, not to mention the loss of billions of dollars from our economy in lost productivity, missed tax revenue opportunities, and profit from the sale of substances even a mentally disabled child can agree are not harmful to society.

We support the law and all members of law enforcement, but we do not support the testing of bodily fluids explicitly to fight an imaginary war on drugs. Even though it’s been proven ineffectual over the 30+ years in action, this make-believe war persists, and we are the underground catheter in support of the revolution. America has more people in prison for simple possession than many nations have incarcerated for all crimes combined, and that’s a disgrace we’ll work to fight.

Smart, that “The Man” is, real freaking smart.

I tell you what, you push your ridiculous laws forward and we’ll push our ridiculous law push-backs back equally. It’s not that we support the people we allow to purchase our products in every case, it’s that we’re ready to rail against your conservative, right wing, Christian bo-shat ideas that we can’t help but support the stoners… and we’re republicans!

Clinton puffed the reefer and that blind philanderer who replaced Elliot Spitzer admitted to doing coke. Bush did coke too, but he’s less of a non-liar about it. Robin Williams did drugs and so has every member of the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Blues Traveler, Scooby Doo and the Dave Matthews Band… are these people who should be fired from a job at a gas station making $5.85 an hour?

We have a pretty basic, fundamental, constitutional belief on the substitution of purchased urine in lieu of your own; you are innocent until proven guilty. This isn’t Russia. This isn’t China. This isn’t Iraqistan. This isn’t Cuba, not even the so-called “Camp Justice” we have in Cuba, whatever that propaganda lie is all about. Aren’t people entitled to certain unalienable rights, right? When did we let the war on terror wrap itself around the war on drugs?

We presume that our purchasers are drug free and only purchase our systems to preclude the possibility of false-positive results based on normal diet and food interactions, or that it’s just for novelty purposes.