HIV-Negative Pee

All the rage in the testing market is this crazy latest craze; HIV/AIDS-Negative tested urine. It’s a bit of a paper chase since HIV can not be tested for with urine samples, but that shouldn’t stop you from submitting your sample for testing, nor should it stop us from testing your urine for HIV/AIDS and declaring it free of any traces of HIV/AIDS.

If you can find a screw-top cap, and you have access to the United States Postal System, we’re willing to help you verify that your urine is free from HIV/AIDS bodies and antibodies.

If you want to take part in this program, you must do so immediately, because as of today there is no way to test urine for HIV/AIDS, but it may come about very soon. If you want to get in on the ground floor, there’s no better time than today to submit your urine sample and get your HIV/AIDS Negative results from this program.

Here’s What You Need To Do:

1 – Find a vessel to ship it in. It can be a screw top jar, an empty prescription bottle, or a sandwich-sized zip-top bag. It can even be a Snapple bottle, so long as it’s unlikely to leak. Write your full name, return address, email address and telephone number on this container before shipping. Please write legibly.

2 – Deposit a sample of no less than 1-ounce, but no more than 4-ounces, of your own, personal urine. You must swear and attest that this is your own urine, that it was not from anyone else, and that it has not been altered in any way under penalty of perjury (punishable by up to 12-months in jail, first offense).

3 – Mail it to THIS ADDRESS (address box will open in a new window, please make sure popup blocker is disabled) along with a personal check for $14.92 (no cash, money orders or cashier’s checks accepted, NO EXCEPTIONS!!!) via standard United State Post (the regular mail). Certified, priority and “return receipt” are not required.

4 – Wait 2-3 weeks for your return certificate in the mail that will state in plain terms that your urine sample has been tested and verified NEGATIVE for HIV/AIDS.

What you do from there is up to you. We have faith in human-kind to do what’s right, and we’re sure you’ll act responsibly. You can not have “HIV/AIDS” all the way when you submit your test, but if you just “kind of” have it, that’s acceptable.

If you have not received your certificate by mail after FIVE (5) weeks, please write us using the Contact Form, and specify the name, address, telephone, and email address put on the shipment container, along with the address you mailed it to. Without this information we can not assist you. If we are able to verify your information, we may be able to issue an on-the-spot e-document of verification.

NOTICE: If you are one who would not act responsibly with this negative HIV/AIDS test, you can not participate in this program. We can not permit very many exceptions to this rule.